Dynamics of Community

Or, Now that We’re Neighbors, How Can We Get Along?

There’s a growing desire from people of all ages to live in more closely-knit communities. The reality of living in a tighter neighborhood, however, may be more challenging than rosy dreams. Issues come up that rub people the wrong way—resentments that others aren’t doing their fair share of work, irritation with kids playing too loudly, or exasperation with the neighbor’s dog digging in garden (again). As well, living in a community means needing to make decisions together— should a diseased tree be taken down? What is an appropriate assessment for building maintenance and repairs? How tight or loose should the covenants be, and how should they be enforced?

Fortunately, there are many more communications and decision-making tools available today than there were ten or twenty years ago that can help neighbors work through their differences and make decisions as a group.

While this website is primarily focused on the physical design and planning of small-scale communities, we want to highlight a few of these tools to make living in community a healthy, rewarding experience.

A significant part of the Pocket Neighborhood Book is devoted to cohousing communities, of which there are now 100s of examples around the world. These are communities of up to around 30 households each that are planned, owned and managed by the residents themselves. Most have developed forms of consensus decision-making processes, and have tools for working through issues and irritations that arise. Start by checking out the Group Process section of the Cohousing Website.

One of the clearest and most helpful guides we’ve seen for communities is a self-published workbook titled, “Head, Heart & Hands: Lessons in Community Building”, by Shari Leach of the Wonderland Hill Development Company. Contact them for more information.

Tree Bressen has a very helpful compilation of articles originally written for people living in intentional communities, and is herself a terrific resource call on to assist any group.

Robert Sandelin has a straightforward description of the consensus decision-making process and how it is used in groups.

Consensus Decision-Making.org is a virtual learning center for people interested in making decisions by consensus.

Diana Leafe Christian is the author of Creating a Life Together , a book with practical information for establishing and sustaining communities, including sections on communications and decision-making tools. Diana also has a blog on the Cohousing Website with stories and perspectives about living in community.

Blog post: Messy and Complicated, or Nourishing and Supportive

Blog post: The Human Side of Housing – section on Creating a Healthy Culture of Community

We advise developers of community-oriented projects to budget for a community facilitator. They can help with the initial vision, marketing, and sales. When residents move in, they can help develop the tools and skills for resolving disputes, making decisions, and promoting community life. A skilled facilitator can help residents navigate the inevitable challenges of community life in ways that build rather than erode social capital. They can model and teach effective meeting facilitation, conflict resolution, and community building practices that residents can then maintain independently. This investment in social infrastructure pays dividends in reduced management costs, lower turnover, and the development of a stable community that becomes an asset rather than a liability.

And finally, check out our Resources Section on this site for additional information.

We welcome your own suggestions and links that we might consider including on this site—write to us at hello@rosschapin.com